Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Thus have I heard - My life is my practice!

THIS POST WAS WRITTEN BY ME IN 2013, two weeks into my involuntary stay in a mental health hospital in Sweden. Looking at the content I am convinced there was nothing much wrong with me at the time. They kept me for exactly one month.  I was examined by eight different doctors and I think they had trouble diagnosing me. The most senior psychiatrist Eva Palmenäs was determined to medicate me, which was done involuntarily. When I was released they said that I had improved and was ready to manage my 'sickness' on my own. They organised for me to continue taking the medication on my own. I told them that I was not going to take a single tablet once I was out of the hospital, which I haven't. That is now close to two years ago.


It is now a bit more than two weeks since I was involuntary admitted to a Mental Health Hospital in Falköping, Sweden, not far from Härlunda where Mum lives.  I managed to bring my Buddhist books with me and I have found great comfort from a book written by Lama Zopa 'Practicing Pure Dharma The Ten Innermost Jewels' (2012). This book was a gift from Wendy Cook and I am so thankful to her for giving it to me. In this book I read:

"Putting up with hardship is the best way to purify your accumulated negative karma.

To know this makes it a lot easier to endure my stay here. I have determined that whatever happens to me I will never renounce the Holy Dharma. It also made me thankful for the opportunity to practice generosity and patience towards the other patients that ask me to massage their back or just walk around and hold hands. Bodily contact meens a lot when you are experience too much activity in your head. I would prefer to be in Lyckhem with my Mum. But to complain is no good. I am trying to be happy for the opportunity to practice in a place where it really is needed.

My onlyYou Tube video I have posted with the title 'Never give up" is an illustration on how to practice patience and enthusiasm. If things get tough, just keep going and you will get there, I am sure!


My mum says:

  • 'Hur jävligt det än blir så ska du inte ge upp'

Translated maybe like this:

  • 'However bad things get, do not give up!
Whatever happens! Even if you are being diagnosed with a severe psychotic episode!
(by the way I do not agree with the diagnosis and am in the psocess of contesting it :)
If you are interested in the drugs they give me here they are: Lithionite (84mg morning and evening) and Olanzapine (20mg at night).

Another book I am studying at the moment is 'Mind in comfort and ease' by His Holiness the Dalai Lama (2007). On page 28 in this book it says:

"A good human being is 
  • Patient
  • Tolerant
  • Altruistic
  • Compassionate
  • Contented
  • Self-disciplined

All of which is well worth contemplating to see if I am a good human or not.

My life is my practice, and there are lots of opportunities for me to practice here in the 'psykosvard 1' unit in Falköping, Sweden. I am placed in a room with three other patients. One of them is continously telling us that she wants to die. She is writing notes that she is under threat from terrorists. I am not sure if she is making things up or not, but I have bought her shower cream, massage oil and foot cream so she can self-nurture to help her get her will to live back again.

I have also massaged another patients feet and legs with a nice and calming lavender oil that I found in the Pharmacy at the hospital.
I am trying to stay focussed on the important things in my life. I am on the path that I am supposed to be on and I am content with being served so many opportunities to practice. I think I might have a lot of bad karma that needs purifying.

I would like to share one of Mia Dyson's songs 'When the moment comes'. It is my favourite!

click here to listen to Mia Dyson


I pay Homage the original Buddha's teaching, to my teachers Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche, Geshe Sonam Thargye, Jampa Drolma, Jakob Leschly, Alan Wallace, Geshe Doga, Tsapel and indirectly S N Goenka and many others.